GIR's Big Day
by Masamune CAN
Summary: When GIR leaves to get supplies for ZIM, he gets hit by a truck. When scientists witness the event and see that he is unharmed after the wreck, they abduct him for a series of experiments. What will happen! I dunno.


INVADER ZIM

#31b

"GIR's Big Day"

by CAN

FADE IN:

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE

GIR can be heard humming, happily. Birds chirp and happy things happen. Squirrels dance in ZIM's yard. They CHA-CHA. Gophers eat corn-stocks and birds sing happy tones, perched happily on ZIM's roof. ZIM's voice breaks out, angry and loud.

ZIM (O.S.)

GIRR, SKOOODGE!

All the things outside stop. The gopher chokes on his corn. The birds explode. The squirrels run out into the road and the sound of tires screeching is heard. Chaos!

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE KITCHEN

GIR sits at the table with some muffins as a dog. ZIM stands by the open fridge, looking mad and staring at GIR. Skoodge falls out of the ceiling.

SKOODGE

You called?

ZIM

WHERE ARE MY LICKY STICKS?!!

SKOODGE

I ate them. Sorry.

ZIM smacks him.

ZIM

YOU DON'T GO INTO SOMEONE ELSE's HOUSE AND EAT THIER FOOD! You starve. Now, GIR, go to the store and buy some more Licky Sticks.

GIR

But, master... LICKY STICKS are IRKEN YUIMMIES!

ZIM

GO! I need my snacks!

GIR gets up and realizes that he was standing in a small bucket of raw DONUTS. He squels and rolls in them some more.

ZIM

GIR, DON'T!

GIR groans sadly and leaves the room. ZIM turns back to SKOODGE.

ZIM

Now, are you going to disrespect my gulute again, Skoodge?

SKOODGE (ASHAMED)

No.

ZIM looks proud at his WEAK VICTORY and turns to leave when GIR flys into the room and hugs him half to DOOM. ZIM screams and knocks him off.

ZIM

GIR! No hugs! Get OUT of my sight!

GIR bows his head sadly and leaves. Skoodge seems excited.

SKOODGE

Hey! Can I hug ya, too, ZIM?!

ZIM smacks SKOODGE many times.

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE CULDESAC

GIR squels and runs down the road. He suddenly begins to shriek as he runs down the road.

GIR

WHERE AM I GOING AGAIN...?

GIR runs out into the street as a trail of donuts follow him. He screams and doesn't pay attention to where he's going or WHY. He passes a few neighbors and a man sees him.

MAN

Hey, i's one a' them Shrieky Puppies! New species, I guess...

He ponders. GIR keeps running and shrieking for no reason at all. CUT TO:

A LITTLE WAYS DOWN THE STREET

A Scientist Convention is taking place in someone's front yard. A sign hangs between two small trees:

SCIENTIST CONVENTION... ALL WELCOME... WHO WEAR THE WHITE COATS AND SAY SMART SOUNDING THINGS THAT AREN'T REALLY SMART AT ALL, THAT IS.

A bunch of scientists stand in circles with beverages at hand, looking bored.

SCIENTIST 1

We need to stop doing these. No one ever comes.

His comrades nod. CUT TO:

DOWN THE ROAD

A MILK TRUCK is speeding down the road.

INT. TRUCKER COCKPIT

The driver isn't looking at where he's going. He sees a bee on the windowshield and is awing at it.

MILK TRUCK MAN

Ahhh, little bee baby! You're soo cute, yes you are!

MONTAGE:

A scene starts between the three places: GIR, the scientists and the Milk man. GIR is still running down the street, screaming. The scientists are standing, bored. The milk truck is speeding down the road. The milk man is poking his finger at the happy looking bee. He closes his eyes and smiles.

MILK TRUCK MAN

BEEEE! I LOOVEE YOOOOOU!

The bee smiles. STUPID BEE! A scientist scratches his butt. GIR runs screaming. Then we pull back in front of the Scientist Convention. The truck enters the screen, and GIR does on the oppisite side. Inside the truck, the Milk Man stops smiling. He looks up in mid-pointing of the bee and yells in fright at the sight of GIR, running happily towards him. THEY MAKE CONTACT! There's a major EXPLOSION. The scientists turn and watch as thier faces light up from the explosion. GIR stands with his normal expression of STUPIDNESS, unharmed. The truck is empounded. GIR stares. He walks off, uncaring.

MONTAGE END.

The scientists are speechless. GIR walks by, perfectly in shape and sees the scientists. He poses. The scientists clap, beside themselves.

SCIENTIST 1

HEEY! Let's use that puppy for our Ultimate Doggy Experiment! He'll be neat!

The scientists nod. A silluette comes out of the house behind them and approaches them. It turns out it is PROFFESSOR MEMBRANE.

PROF. MEMBRANE

I told you, my SCIENTIST COMRADES! The ULTIMATE DOGGY EXPERIMENT is far too DANGEROUS!

SCIENTIST 2

YEAH, DANGER ROCKS!

Everyone but Membrane cheers. One SCIENTIST throws a bag over GIR.

FADE OUT.

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - THE KITCHEN

ZIM sits at the table, reading the PAPER. Skoodge has a black cheek and washes dishes at the sink.

ZIM (like a disapplining mother)

Have you learned your lesson yet, Skoodge?

SKOODGE (like a disaplined son)

Yes, sir.

ZIM

Good. Keep on... that kitchen sink has been full since I moved here.

Skoodge turns back to the sink. It is now fuller then it was. A few wild animals are stuck between the dishes. Skoodge grimaces.

ZIM

Hey, is GIR back yet?

SKOODGE

I don't know.

ZIM

Well, you SHOULD! That's why I keep you here, Skoodge. To know where MY things are. Otherwise you are useless.

SKOODGE (SINCRERE)

Yeeaahh, I know.

ZIM

Hmmm... he's been gone for a while now! I can't afford to lose my minion! I need him for my mission!

(Minimoose hovers in from the living room and squeks happily.)

Yes, Minimoose, I suppose he can fight for himself... he _IS_ advanced!

INT. SCIENTIST LAB - CONTINUOUS

GIR is on the floor as a few scientists scratch his belly. He squels and kicks happily.

SCIENTISTS (COND'T)

You're soo CUUTE!

GIR (COND'T)

I am! I REAALLLY AM!

The scientists are taken back. They back away from GIR, who looks up at thier stopping of thier scratching. A Scientist that hadn't been tickling GIR, standing a foot away looks down.

SCIENTIST 4

He's SMARTER then I EVER IMAGINED... HE CAN TALK!

And they all lean back down to tickle happy GIR again.

GIR (COND'T)

I LOOVEE YOU, GERBILS!

ALL SCIENTISTS (COND'T)

US TOO!

Prof. Membrane stands in the corner, shaking.

PROF. MEMBRANE (CRAZY)

This isn't going to turn out good...

TITLE OVER

Too Much Later Then Comprehendable...

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - LAB

ZIM sits in the lab, leaning on his hand and being bored. He pulls back his glove and reads his watch.

ZIM

Where IS that robot?! I only hope he hasn't been captured and is being tortured for answers on my mission!

At this idea, ZIM looks uneasy.

INT. SCIENTIST LAB

GIR sits on the table of a science lab with candies all over the front of him and on the table before him.

SCIENTIST 1 (SERIOUSLY)

Now, which one is NOT REALLY a candy?

GIR observes the treats. He leans down and scoops all the candies into his mouth. He swallows them all. The scientists stare at him, apparently waiting for him to do something incredible and MIND-BLOWING. He doesn't.

SCIENTIST 3

Man, I wish this doggy was MY pet! Doggy, what's your name?

GIR

I'm a Space Piggy!

SCIENTIST 2 (thoughtfully)

Hmm... so, Space Piggy! Let's blend your amazing strength with the obedience of another dog, eh?

(to another scientist)

Go and fetch us...

(dramatic voice)

... Mr. Snuffles.

GIR looks at everyone stupidly as the guy leaves. A scientist pulls a needle out of his purse. He gives it to the Scientist nearest GIR.

SCIENTIST 3

EXCELLENT! Now, we will take a sample of you to experiment on what makes you so amazing, Space Piggy!

GIR (cheerful)

Yay! I gonna get knocked out with the weenie machine!

SCIENTIST 1

HE'S SOOO SMART!

Scientist 3 attacks. The needle pokes a little ways through the material but it only tings.

SCIENTIST 3

Hey! Why is it not... going in!

He pokes harder and harder. GIR still has his emotionless expression. After a rapid poking spree, the scientist backs up.

SCIENTIST 1

Hmm... new plan required, I think.

The scientist opens his bag and pulls out a pair of PINCHER things. He leans over GIR and pulls something off him.

SCIENTIST 4

HA! We got a substance of him!

SCIENTIST 5

Wait a miniute... Doc, you just pulled his ear off.

The doc looks down. The pincher holds GIR's material ear.

SCIENTIST 3

Oops... my mistake...

(he does it again)

There.

SCIENTIST 5

You did it again...

The other ear has been grabbed this time. The scientist sighes.

EXT. ZIM's HOUSE - NIGHT

INT. ZIM's HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

ZIM

GREAT IRKEN INK JET PRINTER! WHERE's GIR?! I need him NOOW! But WHERE HAS HE GONE?! He's FAILIEST THING EVERR!

SKOODGE

(eating a Licky Stick)

Yeaah.

ZIM turns to him and sees the Licky Stick.

ZIM (pointing at it)

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?!

SKOODGE examines it.

SKOODGE

Oh, this? It was in the fridge!

ZIM

No, it wasn't! I looked in the fridge!

SKOODGE

Well, the OTHER fridge.

ZIM turns to face the fridge. Sure enough, there were two of them. ZIM is surprised.

ZIM

WHERE'D THE OTHER FRIDGE COME FROM?!

SKOODGE

General utility store in town. I needed a whole fridge to myself. I eat too much. I need to go on diet...

ZIM

You mean I sent GIR out when we HAD my snacks?! YOU'RE FAKING IT!

INT. SCIENTIST LAB

GIR sits on the table as before and the scientists are around him.

SCIENTIST 3

Oh, brillant work, men, brillant...

They move back and we see GIR, still stupid-looking. He has a poodle duct-taped to his head.

GIR

I got a duck on my head!

The scientists look pleased with themselves as they leave.

TITLE OVER

Some Time Later...

GIR is still on the table, asleep, sucking on his thumb and his feet twitching. The poodle, strapped to his head, barks, unheard by none. The poodle cuddles by GIR, while doing so, pulling out some donuts from under his armpits. GIR's head opens and more donuts spill out all over the counter. A bucket of paste, sitting on a shelf above them, falls over when a rat scurries by it. It lands atop GIR and Mr. Snuffles, drenching them in glue. GIR is still asleep. He rolls over on the table, squishing the poodle and getting donut crumbs and donuts stuck to him.

TITLE OVER

More Time Later...

GIR and Mr. Snuffles, in the morning now, are covered in donuts, looks like some kind of Horrible Donut-Doggy Monster. Prof. Membrane enters the room. He sees GIR.

PROF MEMBRANE

GREAT MAGNETIC VIBES OF THE PLANET SATURN! Look at what they've done to YOU!

(he pulls a magnifing glass out of his pocket and observes GIR with it)

WAIT A MINUTE! You're my son's best friend's dog, aren't you? I, BEING AN INCREDIBLE PERSON and SCIENTIST, will RESCUE YOU!

GIR

Okey doke.

Membrane rips the poodle off GIR's head and picks him up. The donuts fall off him, but Membrane doesn't notice. He marches off, GIR singing joyously.

INT. ZIM'S LIVING ROOM

ZIM half-sits, half-lays on the couch. He's a mess. He stares at the TV lazily, eating a bag of pork rinds.

ZIM (lazily)  
Yeaah... Who needs minions like GIR when I got my pork-rinds? No one, that's who.

ZIM burps. He starts to cry.

ZIM (sobbing)

GIR! I MISS YOU! COME HOME!

Suddenly, the door opens. Happy, dramatic music swells as GIR and Membrane come in the house. ZIM sees them.

ZIM  
GIR! YOUR HOME!

(ZIM realizes his attitude)

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE AND NOT COME BACK! The Dib's father now found you, do you know how embarrassing this is for me?!

ZIM gets up, knocking Pork rinds all over the place. GIR runs, screaming. ZIM chases him yelling random dialog and threats. Prof. Membrane chuckles and sits on the couch, watching TV and helping himself to some pork rinds.

PROF. MEMBRANE

Heh, heh... children and thier pets... ooh, my show's on.

END.


End file.
